El Taco Llama, one of them...

Yeah, these things are scattered through the greater LA area.  Many "taco experts" deem this place as one of the best tacos in LA.  I've been to a few.  By a few I mean six of them.  I stopped by one near the house the other day.  Parthenia and Corbin.  Yes, the one on the corner in that center next to 7/11.  These places are all really similar.  They are consistently inconsistent.  Do I hate the place? No.  Do I crave it fort nightly?  No.  If I need a taco, I'll stop, but there are a number of places that are in front of it.  I will say that Carnitas Michocan which is also all over is much better store to store, but that is for a different story.  Menus all look about the same, lots of plates and combos.  I will say that their burritos are decent, but sure as heck no Bucky Burrito at RT.

I go into this joint in the middle of the day.  I am ready for an in and out, eat some tacos, take a couple of pictures and jet.  The lady working, yeah rude as heck.  I don't get it, she was not even mildly attractive.  I tell her what I want.  Five tacos.  I tell her what I'm looking for, she tells me no, I get frustrated, roll my eyes, it just keeps going from there.

RATINGS:
ASADA: 3, good stuff, not great.  flavors were ok, but not amazing.
PIERNA: 3, this is like machaca for pork.  I reccomend trying it if you haven't.  Good stuff.
LENUGA: 2, there was just no flavor.  It was boiled meat, just made me sad.
PASTOR: 2, just not good.  Heavy clove and not good.  Do not proceed.
BUCHE: 1, chewy!  I did not even finish.  Had two bites and was done!  Nasty.
SALSAS: 3, didn't get to try them alone, but I love that they paired them on top of what they thought they should go with, that makes a big impact with me.

Alright, so why did I really go?  Why was this reviewed?  I just need to get a taco fix.  I'm saving my thoughts, love and excitement for Saturday.  I'm quite excited for this weekend, The Great San Diego Crawl of 2013.  Stay Excellent everyone!

Salsa and Beer, North Hollywood, CA

Yeah, I've been here a bunch of times, but here we go, Salsa and Beer.  There are two locations, one is in North Hollywood, one is in Reseda.  Biggest difference between the two is one serves full liquor, the other is just beer and wine.  This place is good.  Full service, which is slow, but pretty fun.  I see many friends in the area tag themselves here or fire off pictures from here.

Why did I decide to write about this adventure?  Just a downright great time.  It was double date time with Dara and Mike Phillips.  Two of the greatest friends and people that I know.

I know, they look great.  So they are Jason, my youngest child's godparents.  He loves them.  I'm pretty sure that he likes them more then me.  Nothing to do with this taco run, but today at church, Jason sat with his Nouno all through the sermon at church and then fell asleep on his Nouno.  He slept for a while, even over at coffee hour he was still asleep in his Nouno's arms.  It was great to see.  The love that he has for his godparents really makes me happy.

The four of us really just enjoyed getting away for a bit and hanging out.  We don't all get to do it that often, they are both working a ton, I'm always flying somewhere for work to save the burger world and we of course have the three monsters at home.  Yiayia and Papou are very helpful and were very awesome for taking all three of the brats.  Alexander was hanging out with his good buddy Trevon at the comic book store for a bit, but he's the easy one anyways.

We got more then a little spread today.  Yeah, mucho stuff.  We were all over the place with burritos, tacos, taquitos, flautas, enchiladas, almost everything.  Take a look:

I know you all love to see the way that I pass judgement with ratings but I'm not numbering this stuff.  It is all good, but just as a restaurant.  They crush it with potato tacos and taquitos.  The salsas would find themselves in the 4-5 range.

My favorite thing about going to Salsa and Beer is the experiences.  It is the times that I have with the people that I go with.  There are some really memorable ones.  The first time I went was with my cousin Corinne who I love and it was a perfect trip for me, Melissa ordered my food, great friends and family were around.  Sizzling taquitos, yeah ridiculous.  My dad and I would shoot over there for lunch sometimes when he worked in Burbank.  We asked Dara and Mike to be Jason's godparents at Salsa and Beer.  Two years later and a few twists in between in life and they asked us to baptize their baby who is due next May, ironically on my wife Melissa's birthday.  It was a marvelous surprise.  I don't know if I've seen Melissa happier and that was the most exciting part for me.  Don't get me wrong, I am ecstatic and honored, but I loved seeing the look and smile on Melissa's face.  This is a huge deal in our faith and something that we are so excited about.  I have two grown godsons, Nicholas and Jason and it pains me the distance that we have in our relationship.  Melissa and I also have a beautiful goddaughter Melaina.  A big reason for us wanting to move back to California was to be closer to her and her family.  Her mother is my cousin Corinne who I was talking about earlier in this post.

I know, where did the taco story go here?  It goes back to what I've said many times, it doesn't matter where I eat, but who I eat with.  Today was pretty awesome.  Mikey is a member of the Order of the Taco, and it's always an honor.  I do with that the rest of the members and I could eat together all the time, but that just doesn't work.  Our next big trip is planned and mapped out though!  San Diego, we are coming, better show us your best.

OK, one thing about the food.  My favorite thing to get there, is to share the spicy bean and cheese burrito with someone and then get a taco.  Yeah, the spicy bean burrito is fantastic.  It is so well flavored and good.  I could eat just that and be happy.  Their salsa bar is fantastic and has mild to hot flavors.  Food is great, service is often slow though.  Place is very affordable.  Like cheap and good.  Warning, they are busy always.  Early, afternoon and late.  Be ready to wait at either location.
http://salsaandbeernorthhollywood.com/location.asp

If you have never been, I recommend.  Let me know when you are going, I'll join you!  Thanks again to everyone for reading and a very special thank you to Melissa, Dara and Mikey for making the day so special and so much fun.  I needed that to recharge the battery and find the balance.  Stay Excellent everyone!

Los Beto's...Meridian, Idaho

Yes, I was in Idaho.  Well, actually I am in Idaho.  What else am I going to do?  Yes, I went Tacoteering.  As every adventure, it was just that, an adventure.  I am with a great franchisee for the company I work for.  We were doing interviews, setting things up, Tacoteering.  All the normal stuff that you do, right?  It was interesting.  If I was stuck with only this taco place, I'd go back, but lets be clear, I'm in no rush.  Lets call a spade a spade, this place was light years better then Houston's places.  The food was decent, ambiance was good.  The folks there were really nice.  The menu was not surprising to me.  I've heard they have a few locations, the menu is what you are thinking and expecting from Boise, ID.

I know, a lot right?  So I just went and reread what I've written.  This place was not just light years better then Houston, it really put Houston to shame.  I want to formally apologize to all of Idaho for even putting the letters that spell Houston in the same Blog, you are way better then that.  Like I said the people working there were so cool.  Really nice folks.  They were efficient, friendly.  I will say, I was the only person not working there in the busy building that knew what lengua was.  They looked at me cross-eyed for a second when I ordered Buche and Lengua tacos.  Salsa bar was pretty cool.  Taqueria Style, I dig that.  Really neat little set up.  Taped up a sign that said hot to mild.  I thought that was awesome.  I did not try their "mild."  They looked good.

Portions were HUGE.  I was shocked.  Could not finish four tacos and I did not eat dinner, I was still full.  They were huge portions.  They were not messing around.  $2.25 a taco, you pay for it, but they were huge.  Wait, did I mention they were huge?  I hate it when people do that.  Yeah, lets burn on that for a second before the ratings...

WTF?  Why do people repeat themselves.  Let me tell you something, let me be crystal clear, I don't need you to repeat yourself to me over and over.  I am not responding because:
a:  I know you're an idiot
b:  I know what you're saying makes you more of an idiot
c:  I could give a damn what you are saying
d:  I'm ignoring you on purpose
e:  My response will make you cry which will only increase my distaste for being around you
f:  You suck
g:  I don't like you
h:  I don't want to encourage you to speak more

There are a few more reasons, but stop.  I'm not saying please, I'm saying.  It is ridiculous.  I'm not deaf.  I am ignoring you.  Then, you say the same words and stuff over and over.  Alright, over, for now.

RATINGS:
ASADA: 3, good stuff.  I mean it wasn't anything to call your friends about and invite them over, but you are not going to want to attack the chef.
PASTOR: 2, attack of the sauce.  Way too much.  The meat was drowning.  It was unnecessary.  The sauce was in abundance and not very good.  Aciote, too much, pepper, not enough, ancho chilies, hello!  Yeah too many anchos.
BUCHE: 3, good stuff.  This is no Tacos el Gordo in Chula Vista, but not bad.  I'd order this again.  When I'm back, I might come back for some Buche.
LENGUA: 3, solid.  Good stuff.  I like it.  It was tender, good.  Not as flavorful as it could have been, but good.
SALSA: 3
JALAPENO: 2, they were not good.  They were bad canned peppers.  Just not good.
ROJO: 2, yucky.  They don't know how to properly dehydrate peppers.
VERDE: 4, yum, yum give me some.  It was great.  Tomatillos were good.  Salsa was smoky, coriander, cilantro.
GUACAMOLE: 3, not amazing, but good stuff.  I liked it.

Large and in charge!  The guacamole was a surprise.  I didn't expect it on the tacos.  Pretty good stuff.  Nice presentation.  Here's the thing, this place is good.  Not amazing, but great for Boise.  Idaho, nice job.  I look forward to my next trip and more extensive Tacoteering.

Quick teaser, end of the month, the clan is back out, The Order of the Taco has a trip planned for San Diego.  Five taco places, one brewery and the group.  Excursion, here we come.  We are inviting a few others, you have been voted in.

Thanks to everyone for reading, appreciate your time.  Please tell your friends and Stay Excellent!

Tipicos Dona Gloria, Herndon, VA

So yes, the Order is out in Virginia.  What a day.  I have to say one of the longer days I've had.  Many curve balls and crazy things.  Glad there was some Tacoterring around to help keep a happy focus.  The Tacoteering helped.  It gave me some good light through the craziness a day can show you in a few short hours.  You often get some kind of a "moral of the story" so lets not stop that.  Today's moral is, every shift comes to an end and even when the tacos aren't very good, you can still go get tacos and they will only remind you of how great some other ones are.  Tacoteering on days like today do make me really miss having great fellow Tacoteers joining me.  Tonight, I was a lone, hooded Tacoteer...

Just a man in search of the perfect taco and was checking out to see what Virginia had in store for us.  Sadly, not that much.  This stuff was not great.  I mean, not the worst I've had, but not too good.  I have been reading about taco places and taqueria's in the greater Reston area.  This place rated high for the area in everything that I could find.  I was pretty pumped when I found out it was walking distance from my hotel.  It was a bit cold with this beautiful 35 degree weather, but I mean, hey I was wearing a hood and going to eat tacos.

The menu is big and pretty expensive.  Five tacos for $14?  Umm hello this is really high.  I often am under $9 for that many tacos, oh yeah and they don't suck.  Truth be told, the chicks working there were really rude.  The service was super slow.  It took 21 minutes for me to get my tacos.  That was sad.  I took a pic from a bit away of the menu, you can't see prices, wanted you to see how big the menu is.  Pretty extensive.

The restaurant is small.  Really loud though.  Really loud.  They have a TV up, big screen that is super loud and obnoxious.  Really loud.  There was not a lot of salsa options, but at least they had a decent table set up and good hot sauces.  Oh yeah, one more time, pretty expensive.

RATINGS:
LENGUA: 1, yes, that probably was the worst lengua I've ever had.  It was flavorless, chopped too fine, way overcooked and really damn tough.  Not worth even thinking about.  I did one of those things where I had to shake my head at myself for even thinking of ordering lengua here.
CARNITAS: 1, again, tough, chopped small?  Yeah, it is tough and chopped and tough.  Not cooked till tender and shredded like carnitas is supposed to be.  I love cumin, not like, love.  But dude, this was like straight soaked and drenched in cumin.  It made me sad.  I kind feel like I wept on the walk back thinking that something spelled so beautifully could taste so bad.
POLLO: 3, yeah, pretty good.  Pretty damn good.  Light clove, cooked perfectly.  Moist and delicious.  Not over the top good, but worth eating.  I would go back to just eat a chicken something from there, maybe, probably not, but I'm trying to be a positive person tonight.
ASADA: 2, so close to being a three, but it was consistently, inconsistent.  Just not very good.  I thought is was just less the ok.
VERDE: 4, good stuff.  Little bit smoky, spicy, good.  A loose salsa, runny, but damn good.  Nice depth, again, a little bit of cumin in there, but the right amount for this salsa.

Yeah, so, this was not the tastiest adventure that I've been on.  It was ok, alright, not horrid.  It was nice to be eating tacos.  I will say this, the plate presentation is nice.  They do a great job of presenting.  The avocado sliver was cheap, but looked good.  Looks are not everything, flavor was what we were after, but hey, at least they looked good.  I will say I could not stop thinking about the tortillas from Las Equipales.  They are just so tasty.  These tortillas sucked that I had tonight.  That is the beauty and sadness of having such a great Tacographic Memory.

Thanks again everyone for reading, please do keep telling folks, reading, checking it out, sending suggestions.  We are still in search of a logo.  Something cool.  Something that means the order to you.  Give it a crack, let me know what you think.  Thanks again and Stay Excellent.

Las Equipales, Sylmar, CA..a must eat

I'll start with the address:
Las Equipales
15963 Yarnell Street
Sylmar, CA
(818) 833-2902

If you are not careful, you will drive right by this place, maybe even multiple times.  Just a warning.  You don't want to miss it.  Homemade tortillas, fantastically flavored meats, yeah this place has it going on.  Word from the Taco Wise, go early.  We got there 30 minutes prior to close and they did not have their adobada.  Still had their famous, handmade tortillas.  It made me very sad they didn't have the pork I was so craving.

So Brandon and I have been talking that we just need to get out and go somewhere.  I've been scouting places everywhere and this place keeps coming up.  I have read about it, looked at what they have, the whole deal.  I called, asked questions, I wanted to make sure that I was going to the right place.  They were very nice on the phone and even cooler in person.  Brandon and Allison are so damn cool.  They are recently engaged and I am so excited to see them tie the knot.  Great people, great couple.  Knowing people like them is great.  Getting tacos with them is amazing.  I of course have been telling Brandon about this place over and over.  I know you read it before, but homemade tortillas!  Yeah, they were obviously really tasty.

So when you walk in, there is a small area with tables and guys and gals working hard behind the counter, they know what they are doing.  These folks are masters of their craft.  We ordered our food, a nice little spread.  I again will cry that I was sad for no pork.  Just a great reason to go back another day.  I mean, I need no reason other then how awesome this place is.

Slightly to the left, you can see them hard at work pounding out the tortillas.  I mean, handmade deliciousness.  There are great places that make their own, but this place hit the spot.

They use old school restaurant ways, I really enjoyed watching them work.  It was really cool seeing them do what they do.  They all seem to enjoy working with each other and enjoy working there.  I think that really helped the experience.  Just nice folks there.

Chips and salsa were a great start.  Chips were thick good and crispy.  Salsa was smoky and good.  Ratings are coming up soon, so I don't want to give away too much.  Brandon has been spoken about in a number of my blogs.  He is a great dude, his fiance is awesome.  They are fun loving, Dodger loving people from great families.  I've said it before, I'm lucky for the friends that I do have.  I can't say enough that it's not what you eat, but who you eat it with.  I will say though, this place is righteous.

This is Brandon's face of, really?  Will you stop taking pictures and talking and let us eat already?  Allison is looking for her knife, some chick looked at her funny, Allison wanted to throw down.  I caught Allison in a quick less aggressive photo right after that.

Doesn't she look nice.  Allison too, not just the chips.  She's really a cool chick, if you didn't get that from my earlier comments.  But seriously, if you can't tell, she liked the chips.

Yeah, I'm getting excited right now just looking at that.

Get Excited...
RATINGS:
SALSA: 4, smoky, flavorful, nice tomato flavor.  I loved it.  I thought that it was just really nice stuff.  There was the salsa for the tacos and a separate one for the chips.  Both were yummy in my tummy.
TORTILLAS: 5, delicate, but firm, soft, but strong.  These things are great.  You need to go and try these soon.  You will be thanking constantly.
POLLO: 4, yeah, way above average.  This stuff is really good.  Moist, nice, eat it, you like it.
BIRRIA: 4, shredded beef goodness.  Yes, very good.  Flavorful, little bit of clove in there.  I found it to be nice.  So often you get over boiled beef that is just not good, well readers, that is not the case there.
ASADA: 5, perfect.  I need say no more.

ATTACK:

Yeah, we totally attacked.  Stuff was good, day was fun.  I needed that day.  We all have so many things going on, so many pressures, this was a great afternoon of distraction.  It was great to hang out with two great friends and eat such great food.  I'll probably write a part two about this place.  I'm going back, I'm going to have their adobada and their carnitas and more of their asada.  Thanks for reading, please tell your friends and of course, Stay Excellent.

Whole Foods, Porter Ranch, no not a typo...controversial, rugged writing, read with caution, a bit offensive

Look, I just can't say it enough, I don't find tacos, they find me.  I was minding my own business heading to the chiropractor with Melissa, Alexander, Eleni and the Juggernaut.  We go to a chiropractor in Porter Ranch on the North end of the Valley.  There is a Whole Foods right next door.  Anyhow, I was overwhelmed by the smell of tacos.  They have a little tent set up right outside of the store and are selling street tacos.  I held low expectations, but was delighted and excited by what I saw.  I think that the menu impressed me the most.  It was potato, asada or pollo.

I got one of each.  Just thought I'd eat them in the car.  I was with Melissa, and I know I've never put a picture of her on the blog as she doesn't normally go Tacoteering with me, but I did snap a shot of her driving and eating.  I know that she will be happy to find her picture on the blog.

Yeah, I know, I'm a lucky guy.  Ha, I chuckled while writing that one.  So that is my wife eating.  She is really good at eating.  I know that she eats often.  Well, only in California are you going to find a supermarket that sells street tacos outside, so for that, I commend you Whole Foods.  I kept my expectations lower then a midgets urinal and that was in my best interest for sure.  You pay, walk over to the grill, they fill your plate with what was ordered, then you head over to their salsa bar.

So, the salsa bar looks promising right?  I mean it really did, but looks were very deceitful.  The cilantro was wilted, the onions were too sharp.  Yeah, that came from me.  I love sharp flavors and onions and I'm screaming NO!  Yes, that bad.  Salsas looked good.  They looked homemade and fresh.  They had the look.  We are jumping into the ratings, trust me, looks is all that the salsas had.

RATINGS:
RED SALSA: 2, this might be a generous score for this flavorless blunder.  I would not call this salsa.  It was old tomatoes mixed with old onions, canned jalapenos and yeah, it sucked more the a hooker on Sherman Way.
GREEN SALSA: 1, it really hurt typing the word salsa, as this was not a salsa.  It was more like a bad aioli.  This stuff sucked more then a drunk cheerleader at prom.  Yeah, I said it.  The cuts are deep on this blog.  This food insulted me, my palate, my taco integrity.  I look back into my Tacographic Memory and can't find many salsas that suck more then this one.  It was like food colored mayonnaise.  Just to hold up my end of the deal, just so you know, I did not like it.  It was confirmed by Melissa that it sucked.  She is the chick stuffing her face while driving up above.
TACO de PAPA: 1, yeah, lets call this what it is.  Unsalted potatoes, boiled with onions and shoved into an unsuspecting, helpless, victimized tortilla.  Me no like.
ASADA: 1,  I don't know how you one asada.  I mean it is grilled cow.  It is easier then my high school sweetheart at a college party.  This stuff was junk.  No flavor, no fun, no nothing.
POLLO: 3, yeah, three makes the highlight of the trip.  That is embarrassing in itself.  The chicken wasn't bad.  It was well seasoned, cooked perfectly, light crunch, juicy, but cooked.  I thought it was good, but it sure did not impress me enough to rate it better then the "norm."

So this is after Melissa had attacked the Pollo Taco, the second it made it into the Big Red Dragon (her van).  The food was not good.  By not good, I mean that it sucked.  I'm going to go on record and say it.  My house is just shy of 4 miles from here.  If you feel that tempted, call me, come over, I will make you tacos so that you do not have to endure the poop plate that I did.  Even those of you that read this and I don't like do not deserve this trash.  Run, run fast, seriously, really fast.  This stuff is not good.  It is worse then the Jaguar's record this year.

Thanks for reading, sorry for the bad news, but you are welcome for the warning.  On a very positive note, I'm heading out tonight with Brandison and we are going to a very promising place off of the 210 near the 5 freeway.  This place has been on my radar and I have taco sources that say it is better then the highly acclaimed, infamous El Faro.  I know, hard to believe, I'm so excited my nipples could cut glass.  Party one everyone and please, Stay Excellent.