Tacos Al Carbon, Lake Worth, FL

What a great message for kids to hear.  I mean, is there anything that rings more true?  Is this from Confucius?  Socrates?  Plato?  Sadly, the tacos are not as good here as the sign is.  This place came so highly recommended by so many folks that we ran into.  Here's the back story.  The people of West Palm Beach have been duped.  These guys started with a truck, it grew into a covered tent in front of the truck and then it broke my heart.

This is the original, this is what you walk up to after parking in a dirt parking lot.  Ya know, it's so sad, the dirt parking lot, looking at this when you get out of that rental car gets you excited.  I mean, the place shows some serious promise.

They had some other stuff, but this is the tacos, the important part.  Someone in our outfit tried the nachos and it was the Smart and Final nacho cheese.  There were just some interesting things that this truck does.  Really, I think that they might have been better, but seem to have lost their way.

Here are some upgrades to the menu.  I love the up-selling approach in restaurants, but think this one leaves much to be desired.  I'm sure that you can better use a piece of paper and maybe make the upgrades sound a bit more appealing.

Here's the crew ordering.  They are so funny and excited.  It is great to see Tacoteers in their element.

This is the water station.  I went for the watermelon and it was just OK.  Really nothing too tasty or delicious.  It made me sad thinking about places in Miami, not too far away, and El Placio de los Jugos, or many of the amazing places in California.
RATINGS:
BARBACOA: 2, being that this is the only truly identifiable "meat" I gave it a 3.  It was OK for barbacoa, oh heck, I'm trying to hard, just changed it to a 2 like it deserves.
CHICHARRON: 2, well, this soft, tasteless delight.  I can't make it sound OK, sorry, not good.
PASTOR, BISTEK, ASADA, CARNITAS, FAJITA:  1, what the heck?????  So Josh and I make sure that we are trying everything.  Well, all of these were the same.  The individual working there tried to explain to me which one was which, but they all tasted the same.  There was some slight variations in how they looked, but really?  You can't diversify enough to give people a meal, an experience, an option?  Just put "Beef Like and Pork Like" on the menu and stop deceiving people.  You are not impressing me or anyone else.  This was like a sick joke or a prank that went way too far!  Knock it off and make some tacos.

I think back to the opening photo and I've never been the one to do drugs, I'll tell you that the deceit of this place made me feel like I was on drugs.  What is wrong with them?  I was getting teary eyed trying to wonder how someone could do this to taco lovers everywhere.  I was then more concerned that people were showing up for it.  Look at this photo, can you tell them apart?  Of course you can't.  Those jalapenos were extra???  Insanity!  Lets take this a step further, everything for them is not onions and cilantro, they want to throw cheese and tomatoes on everything!  Gee, what you covering up steak central???  Your tortillas are too thick and chewy and all the meat tastes the same.  Damn I'm still fired up about this and this was three countries and a week ago.  I'm fine with cheese on a taco if your place fits it.  For example, Tito's in Culver City, that makes sense.  This does NOT!

I tried to take a step back and I look at this picture and am reminded, it's not what or where you eat but who you eat with.  I'm on a long, crazy trip and I do miss the family, but this crew was pretty great to dine with.  Amberlin is on the far end with her cool pink hair.  Cyle, yes, he misspells it that way is next to her and y'all know Fo.  Said goodbye to Fo the other day when I left Florida.  It was tough, really going to miss that guy.  I love and appreciate Fo and all of the adventures that we've had.  His haircut sucks here, but Josh fixed it a night later.  On the other end is Cathy she wanted to avoid the camera.  Next to her is Delaney.  She is another new one to the blog with Amberlin and Cyle.  Josh is of course on the end and beginning and the real end of this blog.

New Tacoteers are always fun.  It is great to see them try to get their taco footing.  I do wish that I had more time to groom these folks in the way and get them to try new tacos and enjoy the taco experiences that are out there.  It is like teaching a kid how to walk, pretty fun stuff with great rewards of pride and happiness.  I remember just a few weeks ago watching Cassie order.  She even got the good stuff, not just Asada and Pollo.  I'm getting teary eyed with happiness thinking back with my Tacographic Memory.

Special thanks to the three new Tacoteers in this blog.  I hope that everyone enjoyed this read and is out there eating tacos somewhere.  Please keep reading, telling people and eating tacos.  Next blog will be about Riyadh, Saudi Arabia.  Eat tacos and have a great day.  If you are in California, please go eat a taco for me.  Post it, tag Order of the Taco.  I miss California tacos and California Tacoteering.

Today's goodbye/gratuitous photo is the way this blog started, with Josh and me.  We are posing in front of the Palm Beach Gardens Mall.  We were doing our last domestic opening together.  Somehow this journey continues for me, Josh and I are doing Riyadh, Saudi Arabia with our man JJ, then we head straight to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia to open their second location.  Lucky to have such a great friend when traveling like this.  It also just feels right to finish the blog with the same two guys that appear in the opening picture.

Stay Excellent!

Rocco's Tacos And Tequila Bar, West Palm Beach, FL

A few wrong turns on a night when we were all exhausted brought us to Rocco's for dinner.  This beautiful photo is of one of first sights you will see when you walk in.  On of the best parts about Rocco's, dim lighting, worst part, damn it was loud.  I know they are attracting that young, crazy, party crowd but man it was loud in there.

Pretty dark and cool inside.  I really dig the ambiance.  They hit their crowd in a great way.  Our server wasn't good, he was 10 steps beyond amazing.  I watched the service around us and have to say that the service was pretty amazing.  The basketball playoffs were on and all the employees were watching but it didn't distract them from their job.  I'll tell you, I love it!  I wish they could have actually watched more.

Up towards the ceiling of the bar, this is what you see.  Like I said, ambiance here is killer great.  They make it fun, cool, hip but not stupid and cheesy.

So this chalkboard was the second hottest thing in the building after Josh (pic to come later).  Pretty sweet deal and the team members there sold it.  They really told us how awesome the taco deal was.  It was totally worth it and if I ever wander back to this joint again, I'm going to have the same thing, yes I'll wait to go back on a Tuesday, if I ever go back.

As promised a picture of Josh in all of his hotness.  Look at his command of that plate.  Look at the power he wields while he holds tacos.  It is beyond impressive.
RATINGS:
MOLIDA (GROUND BEEF): 3, a far cry from Taco Bell ground beef.  It is well seasoned and tasty.
COCHINTAS ACHIOTE: 3, this is some decent stuff.  Worth a try if you are doing the Taco Tuesday deal.
CAMARONES: 3, these weren't too bad.  If I had to rate all the threes, this was the tallest of the short stack.  Good seasoning, not over cooked and not rubbery.
ASADA: 3, This was some decent stuff.  Wasn't excited, but I sure didn't lose sleep over it.
POLLO: 3, this is pretty standard chicken inside of a tortilla.  It did not excite me.
CHORIZO: 2, I don't know what happened here, but it is probably a one and I'm probably being too nice.  This was not good stuff.
PESCADO: 2, dude, you're in Florida, get better fish and prepare it better.
HONGOS: 3, mushroom tacos.  Thought they'd be a little better, but I admire the creativity.  They needed a little more flavor.
CHIPS: 4, these were some of the best chips that I've eaten.  Don't know if they make them in house, but they sure taste like they are made in house!  They were fantastic.
SALSA: 1, yeah, I am going to let your mind wander with this sad excuse for a score.  EWW!
GUACAMOLE: 5, this table side treat brought tears to my eyes.  I was skeptical that it was worth the price, but it was worth more.  I think that angels started singing when I took my first bite.

They look more impressive then they really were.  I can't say enough, A+ on the creativity and appealing to the market.  The service in this place was second to none.  They were all nice guys and gals, they all worked their tails off as one unit.  The place is well managed and a great fit for where it is, however, for the true, faithful Tacoteers out there, I would say that this might not be the stop that you are looking to make.  I want to reiterate, the food is not bad, just not the kind of tacos that we are after in our adventures.  This fits the area and it fits the place.  I am still sad there is no corn tortillas here!

Look at these guys making the guacamole.  Let me say, this is the best guacamole I've had.  I am a guacamole fiend and it is worth going in there just for the guacamole.  It was flavorful, spicy, rich with citrus and sodium.  They really have mastered the art of guacamole and it is worth every penny that was paid for it.  Ya know, if I were to go back in time with Doc Brown, I might get just the guacamole and forgo everything else.

Yeah, looks tasty on that chip doesn't it?  They make it right in front of you, so if you want to turn the heat up, they do it with these delicious jalapeno's that they let me have on the side so that I could turn the heat up on all that I was eating on the table.

Man a plate of jalapeno's like that really turn me on.  They look as delicious as they tasted.  Just to waste a moment of your time, here is their menu, well, their tacos:

A great big thanks to the new Tacoteers that went on this trip and are unnamed until the next adventure I need to catch up on.  Sorry, been crazy busy and traveling a ton.  I'm actually writing this in Riyadh and already went on an adventure out here with Josh and JJ today.  Please keep reading and please keep eating tacos!

Today's goodbye/gratuitous photo is me with my beard purple.  I told the trainees that if 90% of them passed their test on the first try I would dye my beard purple.  I never thought it would happen, but kept my word.  Thank goodness it was back to black and white by the time I got to Riyadh!

Stay Excellent!

Aguacates Mexican Restaurant, Miami, FL

Let's start from where we started today's adventure after we left work on the way to the airport, Tenango's Taqueria.  Don't go there.  The place sucked.  The menus were dirty, the people were rude and they use the nasty looking round chips.  Yeah, I'm glad we left and came to Aquacates.  

Menu is simple.  It is also nice to see other bald people enjoying tacos.  Tacos are good for you.  They look Chipotle like, but not.  It is really cool.  They make it right in front of you, for you.  You get the option of corn or flour tortillas.  They warm them on a flat top right after you order.  After they make your food, give you your options, they do offer you guacamole which was pretty solid, you can head over to the salsa bar.

Not a bad salsa bar.  Cilantro and onions are on there, put on as much as you want, but don't overload and dilute the flavors and meat.  Limes were fresh and good. Jalapenos over there were good too.  Spicy, tasty.  The folks that work there were awesome.  They were really nice.  Very helpful, very nice, seemed to really enjoy working there.  Josh and my favorite part of the salsa bar was the description on the mild salsa.

Hard to argue with that.  It was pretty darn flavorful for none spicy.  This one and their verde were pretty solid.  Really solid.  

RATINGS:
ASADA: 3, pretty average here.  Almost too average, but it wasn't bad and I think that if you have the craving, this will satisfy. It won't blow you away or really impress you, but you won't leave sad for eating it.

PASTOR: 3,

BARBACOA: 2, this almost hurt my feeling.  It was so dry.  It was really flavorless and did not make me feel good about ordering or eating it.  

CARNITAS: 4, what can I say, Miami knows its pork.  This stuff was sweet and good, full of flavor, not at all dry.  Very tasty treat and pleasant surprise.  

So the portions are pretty huge here.  They are not afraid to hook it up.  They make sure that you get plenty of food.  The environment is nice and the people are pretty great.  Overall, the food won't blow you away, but it won't really disappoint.  Warning, they are closed on Sunday!  A total bummer.  Many things around them are closed.  

Thanks for reading, please continue to re-post, re tweet and tell everyone about the adventures.  

Today's goodbye/gratuitous photo is of another hat.  The Mexican Restaurants in Miami all seem to have at least one, and this is their's.  Hope you enjoy and eat more tacos!

Stay Excellent!

Wapo Taco, Hallandale, FL...again! Place is almost too EXCELLENT!!!

I have to start this one off with the picture of their two beautiful cones.  One is pork, the other is chicken.  They are pretty much equally excellent, not good, excellent.  There really is no place like this one.  It is something really, really special.  These guys don't just get it, they force other people to get it.  How can you argue with dueling cones?  It is just awesome to see.  I needed this, I needed this bad.  I've experienced so much bad pastor in the last week plus that it has made me depressed.  This made it all better.  It was a hug from grandma, you know that hug that just makes you feel like its all going to be OK.

Here is the napkin dispenser.  We are doing this photo next so that you know how to eat tacos.  I love this thing.  Josh and I kept reading it and enjoying it along with the decor of the restaurant.  The new menu, by the way, is amazing!  They did three months of research on what the guest really wanted and that is the menu.  They condensed it and went by the rule of doing great things rather than trying to do everything and falling short somewhere.  Let me again repeat, they did not fall short anywhere.

These guys are monsters.  They are always working and working hard with smiles on their faces.  The people that work there make you feel so good as they are always smiling and seem to really enjoy being there as much as I do, and if you can't tell, I love being there.  The owners are in the thick of it and working.  They are leading the charge of excellence that this place portrays in every interaction with the guest and in every dish.  Lets go over what they are creating...

Here is where it all started for us.  Two tacos each.  We had to go pastor, one chicken, one pork each.  We really weren't that hungry, we just needed good pastor, but instead we came here for excellent pastor.  They don't overwhelm you with pineapple, but you get it.  It is the perfect balance of sweetness.  They cut from the cone right into your tortilla.  It is like milk straight from the cow, it really doesn't get better and trust me, I know.  We were done here.  We were ready to head out.  We have been working all day and were pretty full.  We were chatting with the owners and they told us we had to try their Carne Asada with cheese tacos.  We reluctantly said yes to this.

Wow.  I didn't think it could be this good.  We each took our first bite after this photo.  After a solid 6 minutes of crying from happiness, we were able to finish these amazing tacos.  It is something like you've never tasted.  It is flavors that melted together like nothing else.  Grilled fresh jalapeno that are nicely sliced by hand, avocado, cilantro, onion, oh my goodness, I'm about to drive back up there and I'm still full.  Their food is seriously second to none.  They really don't take a back seat.  At the end of this, we were done.  Josh was finishing his juice, I couldn't even take another sip of water, we were going to grab our tab and head to the hotel.  Apparently we weren't leaving without dessert.

I don't know what they call it on the menu, but it is like tacos dorados.  It is their version of a hard shell taco.  This is what I love about this place and these guys.  Guests want hard shell tacos.  They take their delicious homemade tortillas, grill them hard and serve them like this.  Josh and I each had one and a half.  Oh my goodness they were so tasty.  So perfect.  This is the kind of dessert that I will eat.  At this point there was only one thing that we could do, loosen our belts, smile and take a selfie of happiness.

These are two of the happiest tacoteers that you might ever see.  We loved this place, we loved this meal.  We will be back.  There is a second location coming soon in Coral Gables, you better believe that I am going to make it there.  You better believe that I'm excited more people will experience this place.  It just works.  You can grab a beer with friends and co-workers in a comfortable environment, you can take your wife, girlfriend or potential girlfriend on a date here and you are comfortable.  Ambiance is great, food is amazing, it is just comfortable.

Thanks for the reads, re-tweets, re-posts and for checking us out in general.  I did not rate this place since I have before.  Let me make it easy for all of you, they get a 5 on everything.  Their people, their food, perfect today, as it was the last time that I came.  I look forward to my next trip to the area to be able to go back and check these guys out again.  Josh was saying the same.  He loves the place, we both were saying these really might be the best tacos we've ever had and it really might be one of the coolest, best restaurants that we've ever been to.  After the tough run that we've had in Miami, this was such a relief and it brought us to our taco happy place.  If you need a great laugh, read the blog from the other day about Mr Taco.  Place was a burn and you get introduced to BIG HUNGRY, a new tacoteer on the blog. That blog is almost the antithesis of this one.

If you're not following the Order on Twitter or Instagram, check us out, easy to find Order of the Taco!  It'll keep you up to date on where we are, what we are eating and if you are missing out or if you should stay away and run for cover.

Every so often, the goodbye/gratuitous photo is of me.  Today it is a shot that Josh got of me inside the door of Wapo Taco. It sums me and my love for tacos up pretty darn well.  Josh has nailed some pretty cool photos of us Tacoteering, but I will say that I do like this one.

Stay Excellent!

Jacalito Taqueria Mexicana, Miami, FL

Josh jumped up on a chair when we got to the restaurant to get the perfect photo.  You should have seen the ladies that work there run out all confused and scared.  It was fantastic.  He then explained to them that he is Spiderman.  Pretty epic moment to start off today's Tacoteering.  We decided to give Miami another shot.  Maybe we are just being too nice.

They had some really awesome hats on the wall.  These were two awesome ones.  I like it, thought it was some pretty cool ambiance.  It fit for the building and the people that work here.  Lets talk about the people that work here.  I don't think that they could have been any nicer.  Pretty sure that they are all related, which is cool.  They all worked really well together and it was great to get to be in their home.  They treated everyone with such love, care and respect.  It doesn't make up for horrible pastor, but was a nice touch.  They do not speak a word of English, but somehow Josh and I were able to make due...

Here is the menu.  Pretty neat menu.  They have a variety, but not too much.  Obviously we stuck to the tacos.  You can always judge a place by their most simple dish.  It is a foundation of who and what they are.  Plus, we really love tacos, a lot.  Pricing wasn't too bad, it was in line with the area.

This is the set up.  Nice little bowl of chips and salsa, menus are clean looking.  I like it.  Lets talk about juice.  Their is amazing juice in Miami.  We are obsessed with one juice spot that does fresh juices, but these guys do their own waters.  I couldn't help but get a refreshing maracuya.  Theirs is nice, tasty and delicious.  Very refreshing and the sweetness compliments the spicy flavors well.  I will miss being able to get maracuya, guabana and some of the other fruits that are just not indigenous to the Western US.

This is the whole restaurant.  The owner was in the midst of a mean game of candy crush, we didn't disturb her.  Well, Josh (Spiderman) did when he jumped up on their chair and roof.  It wouldn't be a trip to Miami without someone messing up our order.  We couldn't get mad, they were all so nice and apologetic.  It was very disappointing that they were out of so many meats, but that seems common in the area to just not have most of or a large portion of the menu available.  This is where my love for chalkboards comes in.  When we sat, I will say that one of the scariest moments was looking at the table.  It had regular Tabasco on it.  If you know me, you know I'm not a Tabasco hater, but come on, get some Tapatio or Valentino's on the table.  Enough about that, giddy up.
RATINGS:
BARBACOA: 3, this was good.  It was a nice gamy type of flavor with a good soft texture, but it didn't just dissolve when you eat it.
COCHINITA: 3, pretty textbook here.  Nice touch with sticking to the pickled onions.  This area does most pork pretty well.  The lack of soft texture prevented a 4.
LENGUA: 3, nothing to write home about here.  This stuff was good, but not amazing.  I would eat it, but wouldn't rush back to get it.  There is better lengua out there my friends.
PASTOR: 2, oh this is just pissing me off.  I'm so tired of bad pastor.  This was a bit dry, there was way too much pineapple and it was sugary canned pineapple.  I just want to scream at people when they serve me bad pastor.  I really think I should be able to punish people.
CARNITAS: 3, good stuff.  It was consistent, but sure didn't blow my socks off.  They could do better.
SALSA: 2, it was spicy, which I liked, but didn't have much flavor to it, that was a bit sad.  Just no depth to it.

Pretty good looking spread.  They keep it pretty simple.  Tortillas are not too thick or too much, but they are solid.  Looking at the ratings, not too bad of a place.  I don't plan on ever going back, but I'm not filled with rage and anger like many other places that we've been to for tacos around here.  Pastor, why can't anyone in Miami make it?  It is killing me.  I just want pastor so bad right now.  We are trying to find it, we are giving everyone an opportunity to get it right, but no one is.  I just don't get it.  I can teach people?  Should I move to Miami for a few months and just teach everyone how to make pastor and carne asada?  It seems that this is a necessary thing.  Maybe people would be happier here.  Maybe driver's would be less aggressive because they got to enjoy pastor.  I am really thinking about it.

Thanks again to everyone for reading, posting, tweeting and all of that stuff.  Great readers lately.  I hope that if you are not, you look up Order of the Taco on Instagram and Twitter.  Up to date taco pics and places.  Please let me know if there is anywhere you think I need to get to, I love suggestions.  We're in Miami for a few more days, back in LA for one day then heading to New Brunswick, NJ and probably a day in NYC!  Have a target on a place in Harlem, hoping to get there one night.

Today's gratuitous/goodbye photo is of the flowers on the table.  They were just so beautiful.  The flowers really helped make the place look even more great.  They were fresh and smelled wonderful.  Made me think of all of the roses at my house.

Stay Excellent!

Viva Mexico, Little Havana, Miami, FL

That's the whole restaurant, so you know that it's good, or is it?  We've had some rough bouts here in Miami.  Read the last blog, OUCH!  We were deceived.  Luckily, not tonight.  I don't mean to deceive you.  This place isn't amazing.  This place didn't blow our socks off.  This place is no California delight, but it was edible.  It was a bit more than that, there was some good stuff here.

I'm a fan of the menu being on the wall like this.  I'm also a fan of some of the more "risky" meats they attempt.  I'm a huge fan that this is their entire menu.  Keep it simple, keep it real.  Keep it going.  These guys have some pride in what they do.  Just a heads up, there is no English here.  They do not speak a word of English.  They will make no effort, I kind of really dig it.  They do pass out the menu to you, it is a bit more condensed, I had to take a picture, obviously.

Yeah, pretty big deal.  It is a legit little menu.  It is a postcard size.  I'm glad Josh came back over so that we could share the best tacos that we've found so far.  While we were there, some dude came up trying to sell us bootleg movies, that always adds to the ambiance.  It is neat, they have a few really wobbly tables outside and I enjoyed it.  It is right on a little corner.  Some jerk came and parked on the street, in a no parking and walked up to the counter to get food to go.  You get the vibe, I can feel it.
RATINGS:
LENGUA: 3, this was good, but there was nothing special.  they shred it for the the most part, but it is just boiled, they don't throw it on the flat top or anything.
BISTEK: 2, yeah, here was a downer.  There was just no flavor to it.  It almost tastes like they boil the meat to keep it moist.  Not really sure, but it lacked seasoning, spice and flavor.  So sad.
PASTOR: 2, yes another damn egg has been laid in Miami.  This was dry.  Really dry.  It lacked flavor, depth, excitement.  I can't wait to go home for the one day I get in LA before I head back to NY/NJ.  Pastor, mi corazón llora por ti!  I long for your smell, I await your touch and flavor.
BUCHE: 3, this is solid, but nothing special.  Textbook buche.  I would have really loved something that was a bit crispy and had some more flavor.  Still, pretty good, I'd order it again.
OREJA: 3, this is like a cut and paste description to the buche.  I was happy with it overall.  I love that they make this.  Most places are afraid to make ear.
TRIPA: 4, oh man.  This is the best taco I've had in Miami, without a doubt.  It was crispy and good.  Flavor was right on point, texture was solid.  Salty, but not over salted.  Really happy with this.
VERDE: 3, good, but nothing amazing that you need to try.
ROJO: 2, not very good.  Almost over smoky and too many different peppers to be able to enjoy flavors.

So this is the table top salsa bar that you get.  The Tripa was great.  Really amazing, but the pickled peppers and onions, boom.  That was a real treat.  Spicy, flavorful, just delicious.  I enjoyed the set up of this little table side salsa bar.  Limes were fresh, salsas were not too bad overall.  I recommend this place, so far if you are in Miami.  It has been the most acceptable so far.  As for now, I might be sticking to Cuban Sandwiches for a few days.  OK, I probably won't because I'll miss tacos.

I know, you are wondering why I don't have a picture of the tacos.  I don't know why.  I totally forgot to take a picture.  Maybe because we finally had tacos that looked good in front of us.  Anyways, thanks for reading, thanks for taking the time.  Please continue to re-post, re-tweet and tell your friends if you like it and your enemies to read if you hate it.

Today's goodbye, gratuitous photo is of Matt.  Matt's on here a bunch of times.  Great dude.  Everyone ditched us to go to this hipster looking Cuban place, but Josh did come back and had tacos with us.  I was glad that Matt stayed so I had someone to talk to and Tacoteer with.  Matt's in his "Matt Place" while he's eating.

Stay Excellent!

Mr Taco (Truck), Miami, FL...BURN

Lets start this story from the beginning.  Many stories, told by most people don't always start there.  El Palacio De Los Jugos.  This place is a dream.  They have some random foods there in a few different spots, we went there for the juices.  We didn't really know what to expect.  Let me tell you, we were overwhelmed with happiness.  They have so many fresh squeezed juices.  Many fruits that we can't get in LA.  It was wonderful.  We all enjoyed some juice and though we were tempted by the lechon, we went on our way to Mr Taco.

Yelp, wow!  This place has 8 reviews and they are all 5 stars.  I guess they could only find 8 friends or family members to lie for them.  This is a mockery of Yelp.

This might get a bit rough, don't read anymore if you don't want to hear the horrible truths I'm about to lay on you about this place.

So this is the menu, looks simple, aside from the menudo, how could they really screw this up?  We were excited.  It looked legit.  Small truck, neat signage.  We were taking pictures, trying to figure out what some of the meats were that Josh, Phil and I didn't know. We were happy the Jen Pollick was on her virgin Tacoteering adventure.  The excitement ended there.  I ordered 7 tacos.  Yes 7.  Matt ordered three tacos.  There were things that I've never heard of.  When we would ask, we were getting some strange answers.  Most of the items, like "res" was just "cow."  Cesina, apparently not to be confused with Cecina (which is salted beef deliciousness) was some "mixed" meats.  By mixed meats, they would put some kind of a sort of beef with chorizo.  Cheap chorizo.  The "lengua" was disgusting, the "tripa" was inedible.  I can't tell you what anything else is or was, because it doesn't make sense.  All the "meats" were the same.  All the "meats" were "mixed."  Phil ordered a burrito de pollo and it seemed very, um well, yeah.  Josh got some tacos and yeah.  Jen got the tacos dorados.  How can you screw those up right?  Don't worry, these masterminds found a way to do it.  These things were about 8 inches long and there was meat in about 3 1/2 inches.  Nasty.

I blame me.  I totally blame myself.  I ordered first.  The guy there asked if I wanted "everything" on my tacos.  I said "yes, cilantro y ceballos."  He then goes to put something on, I stopped and asked what it was, he said "lettuce."  Wait, COMO WHAT?  Lettuce?  On a street taco?   Are you serious?  Are you messing with me?  This guy then puts on onions, cilantro and tomatoes, fine whatever, I'm dying for tacos, I'm hungry, I still am blindly anticipating something delicious.  Failed in every which way shape and form.  These guys even got confused and made Matt's order twice?  They tried to give it to him twice!  Then they argued that he didn't already have it.  I will say that the guy working there then told us we could have the "extra" tacos for free.  They had lettuce and tomatoes on there!  Seriously, why didn't you just add cheddar cheese and sour cream???  Then this dude tries to tell me that the "white sauce" is too hot to eat?  Seriously, do you know who you are talking to?  It wasn't even that hot.  By the way, you are a taco truck, sell salsa, not "sauce."  Idiot!

I can't believe that I'm going to say this, but I mean it.  I really, really wish that I had gone to Taco Bell for tacos tonight over this place.  I would have rather had a soft taco supreme with their almost ground beef than gone to this horrid truck.  I never thought I would say that.  I'm not a Taco Bell "hater," but it's not tacos.  It's not a bell.  It is what it is, but it is so much more appealing, tastier, and all around better than this junk truck.  I haven't been to TB in some time, this place made me miss it for the first time.

The place is 8pm or after always, how do you not want to go?  How can they destroy tacos?  Why would they do this?  I feel dirty, violated and cheated.  This is a crime.  I seriously considered calling the police to shut them down for calling the criminal things they put on a plate tacos.  Damn, these guys are not good people.

We paid and left angry.  Very angry, very disappointed, very upset.  On our way back to the hotel, we started speaking about El Palacio De Los Jugos.  Well, we went back and got more delicious fresh squeezed juice.  The juice was amazing, but it sure did not calm me down.  I hope that time can heal this deep womb.  If hours pass, maybe the hurt will lessen.  Please, keep Josh, Phil, Matt, Jen and me in your thoughts, we went through a lot tonight.  I'll be burning on this one for quite a while.

Thank you everyone for reading.  Trust me, we took a few bullets for anyone who might have stumbled upon this place.  I appreciate the reads, follows, re-tweets and re-posts of this blog.  Please keep it up!  Please do me one other favor, don't lie on Yelp, it is not a nice thing to do.

I can't deny anyone of the goodbye/gratuitous photo.  Josh got a great picture of Jennifer Pollick. She is a great girl that I get to work with and one of the trainers at the opening we are doing at The University of Miami.  She works out of our Home Office and rocks.  Here is Jen eating this horrible food.  She can't help herself, her nickname is BIG HUNGRY.  She has quite the voracious appetite.  This is her doing her thing and eating, it is an animal in its natural habitat, go Big Hungry, get it!

Stay Excellent!