Los Tapatios, Lennox, CA

When you walk in, this is what you see.  A nice meat display, this is a pretty cool looking butcher shop.  I think this just heightens my frustration.  The meat that they have looks great.  Variety was pretty incredible, especially for such a quaint space.  If you haven't gotten the tone, the vibe yet, the tacos sucked.

I know, you are asking, how bad was it.  It was horrible.  It felt like my taste-buds were being punished.  Most everything was horrible.  The food was no bueno.  Aside from the company, the jalapenos were good.

The best part about this blog is probably going to be the pictures, because the food sucked.  The location, the photos, the Yelp all gave this place some promise.  Sadly it ends there.  Not the pictures, I have some salsa porn to share with you, but the ratings are going to suck, hard...

So the menu is, well, um, yeah a bit disjointed, but looked promising.  The broken sign doesn't  bother me, I think it adds some character.  They have too much for them to handle.  Yeah, the menu is too big for them.

This is the kitchen that makes food that sucks.  I just wanted you to see it first hand.

This is the unimpressive, flavor wise, salsa bar.  Enough of the pictures, its time to get to business:
RATINGS:
ASADA: 3, this was OK.  If I was trapped in this taco hell again, this is probably the only thing that I would order.
PASTOR: 1, you broke my heart.  Putting a ton of citrus on dry pork does not make it pastor, you should be ashamed of yourselves.
LENGUA: 2, flavorless and not exciting in anyway.  You can add salt to poorly boiled meat...
CHICHARRON: 1, a very under-cooked, unappreciated meat here people, it makes me sad.
PIERNA: 2, this was dry and flavorless.
CHICKEN: 2, here's the shocker, dry and flavorless...
JALAPENO: 4, this was the second best part of the trip. My company was obviously the best, but these were pretty tasty.  I think they are the only way that I was able to get through these tacos.
SALSA: they get a 4 on variety, a 3 on flavor.  PRESS THE LIMITS GUYS!  They need to be more bold in their flavor, really any bit of boldness would be appreciated.

Do you understand how I feel about the food?  Is there a question?  Is there anything left to ambiguity?  I sure hope not!  I feel it's clear.  If it is not, let me re-explain.  If you are by there, run in, grab those delicious looking jalapenos and run out and go somewhere better.

Chicken stock on the sope.  This excited me.  You would think this adds flavor, you would think this would make it a moist treat.  Not the case, chicken still was dry, the cheese tasted old and dry and I was beyond unimpressed.  That is so sad to me, I love sopes.

Thank you to anyone and everyone for reading.  Please keep spreading the taco word.  Get people to read.  Let them know where to go, or in this case where not to go!!  Shoot me messages of places you want me to check out, if you love the place, hate the place or if you want me to try it first because you are scared.

I hope you agree the pictures are the best part.  I just don't feel like Nicole and I deserved such a poor taco experience.  You should drive Chef Zadi's restaurant if you are planning on going to this one and eat his delicious tacos I wrote about in my last blog.

Nothing could be obvious in this blog than the message I've echoed in blogs for quite some time.  It doesn't matter where you eat, but who you get to do it with.  I sure got a BIG win in that department.  Nicole Merizalde is a great friend and colleague.  She's a really cool chick that everyone she meets wants to connect with.  She is a heck of a Tacoteer and I appreciate knowing her.  Obviously today's goodbye/gratuitous photo is of her making her way back over to our table.

Stay Excellent!

Random Truck, side of the road, Idaho

We get one day off in what is a long trip for me.  I was first to get to Boise, I will be the last to leave.  So today is the day to relax, unwind, recharge the battery.  I mean, I'm on a huge stretch here.  I had to have some tacos.  I was content with just hitting a vineyard or two, hoping for tacos.  My taco destiny again prevailed and I ended up here.  Were the tacos good, NOPE!  But, I still got tacos and that is important in it's own right.  We were heading to the Snake River Valley Wine area.  Bitner Vineyard to be exact.  Great place to go and check out if you are in the Boise area.  Very scenic and pretty.  Not too far of a drive from downtown Boise.

The blue turf of Boise.  We had to go to the stadium.  It is not like the trainers or I have any trips planned to come back.  Stadium is pretty cool.  We spent a little time there and then were heading to the vineyards.  On our way there, a few of the trainers noticed the truck.  They knew that I was stopping on the way back.  I appreciate the fact that they indulge me with the quest for the perfect tacos.  While at the vineyard, Miss Canyon County Idaho showed up.  She was quick to ask me to take a photo with her.  Look at the expressions on both of our faces, we know who wanted to be near who more.

It is my kind heart that allows taco fans everywhere to take pictures with me.  After this photo we headed back to the city of Meridian for lunch.  I stopped for tacos.

I did not blame the troops for being leery of this place.  The lady working was less than kind.  The place seemed sketchy, honestly that is part of what attracted me.  There was no name on this thing, just this little trailer.
RATINGS:
CHORIZO: 1, yes, I don't think it was chorizo.  Maybe sausage links chopped up with chili powder on them?
CARNITAS: 1, again, still not sure what meat this was, but yeah, ok, enough said.
ADOBADA: 1, umm...
ASADA: 2, yeah, this high rating was achieved with some salt and lime added to the chopped product inside of the chewiest tortilla I've ever put in my mouth.

Hard to tell which taco is which by that picture.  That might be why ratings are so low.  I had a hard time distinguishing which one is which.  Random taco trucks are always a guess.  I'm glad I stopped by, I'm more glad that no one else ate these tacos.  Lucky for me, we went to Willie B's and I was able to have a delicious sandwich.

Thank you for reading, thanks for following, I still have a place on my radar here in Boise, I'll get there before the week is out.  Before I go, the photo today is of all of us up at the vineyard doing the wine tasting.

Stay Excellent!

Phillip's Seafood, Newark International Airport...desperation blog

This blog and it's contents are written solely out of desperation.  I am, was desperate for New Jersey to leave me with a better taco taste then my last blog that shall not be named.  I got dropped off at the airport, and was flying back to LA myself.  The trainers stayed one more day then I did.  I got through security at lightning speed.  I got up to the gate, settled in and finished writing the blog posted yesterday.  A blog of bad food, sad tummies and a sad looking Bethany.  With the hopes of redemption, an attitude of can do, I looked at the menus for both restaurants in the terminal that I was in.  One had "tacos" the other didn't.

I'm a huge fan of fish tacos.  I think that they can be some of the best tacos.  I was hoping when the restaurant is known for seafood and they have Mahi Mahi tacos on the menu that I will be in for some bit of happiness, somewhat of a treat.  I was quickly reminded that I was in New Jersey once I took my first bite.

Where do I start.  Fish tacos that come with waffle fries and a Mediterranean Salad?  Look, I already told you that I was desperate.  I told you that I was backed against a wall and the only way out was a great taco.  Like a midget at a urinal, this came up short.  I love Mediterranean Salads, I love me some waffle fries, I don't love them next to a taco.  Tacos go great with anything, if they are good tacos.  These, were not.  I feel weird even trying to rate, but what the heck.

RATINGS: 
MAHI: 2, incredibly overcooked, poorly seasoned, tough, wood like texture, uneven grill marks.
SLAW: 1, flavorless, wilted cabbage, pre-cut.
WAFFLE FRIES: 2, they were cold, had been sitting in the window
MEDITERRANEAN SALAD: 3, decent, lots of cucumbers, dressing was ok, probably closer to a two, but it was the best thing I ate.
TORTILLA: 1, I don't know what this really was, but it was bad.  Nasty, bad, paper thin, probably not made with masa, it was really bad.

There was no salsa, they did have regular Tabasco which, yeah, is good but yeah, anyways.  Needless to say, I did not finish my meal.  I almost fell out of my chair when I got the bill.  It was seriously like getting robbed.  My food even took forever, possibly longer.

I will look for tacos any and everywhere.  I want them.  But I don't like hitting a streak of tacos this bad in a row.  Tacos are just needed.  I will probably hit a truck or something here in LA today.  Will I write about it?  Probably not.  I just need to heal my taco wombs.  What got me through this meal and my last two experiences were the great trainers that I was with.  I often say it is not where you eat, but who you eat with.  They may not have been at the airport, but they got me a card and it was really nice.  They each wrote a personal goodbye and it was one of the cooler things I've gotten in a while.  I read it over and over as I sat alone in the airport.  It reminded me of the importance of great friends and the connections that can be made through openings.

What?  Did you think that I would show you what was in there?  Heck no, it is not your business, it was addressed to me.  Why did I put this sideways?  Because I wanted to.  OK, because I didn't feel like pressing the button to rotate it.  I know that it says that card has no purpose, but it did.  It was a great thing and made me crack a smile.

Oh yeah, even the bartender, I sat up at the bar SUCKED.  So anyways, don't go there.  Thanks for reading the blog, thanks for taking the time.  Look forward to telling everyone about the great experiences in Tacoteering that I'm going to find.  The photo today is of me.  Tired, ready to get back to California where the tacos are delicious.

Stay Excellent.

Tacos Lupita, Passaic, NJ...its a BURN!!!!!!!!!!

Five blogs in about a two week time period.  We had a bad start, a good middle, with some great and a really horrid ending.  This is bad.  If you haven't read one of my "burns" you need to decide if you are ready.  If you've never read an Order of the Taco Blog, this might not be your best virgin experience.  Here's the deal, I love tacos.  I get that some places are not as good as others.  I have minimal expectations for NJ.  I like the Garden State.  I like tacos.  Why can I not enjoy them together?  Because of places like this that suck more then a drunk coed.  Yeah, I went there and I'm probably going back there.  I've had to try to decompress with the magical voice of the King, Elvis Presley.  Today just hurt.  Work, yeah, it is tough.  I'm non stop, taking, pushing, working, not taking a break, loving it, but worn out like a dirty rag in your Yiayia's cupboard.  Warned you, there are going to be some references.  If you don't get them, go to my dictionary of terms used or ask your friends, if you have any.  Read past blogs, it might explain some of the references.

I often find myself telling people no matter how bad things are, you have to find one positive thing.  I will give it to you.  I will tell you now so that we can get back to the ugliness of this taco trip.  The training team for The Counter in Clifton, NJ.  Our training team did so amazing.  The trainees got better everyday and the franchisee here is a great dude.  We got great support from The Counter.  Alisha and Josh from CA, Bethany from FL, Matt from VA and Fo from GA.  You've seen their pics, you've heard their stories, they really stepped it up, especially in the last week.  They took opening a restaurant to the next level and took care of this crazy, grumpy, bald bear.  When I say they saved lives, I mean it.  I'm telling you they kept me calm, well, calm for being me...Taco Z.

Here's the menu of where we went:

Looks good right?  Not too bad.  Not like a filthy red light district, b player.  Yeah, I mean promising.  Look at the corner.  Yeah, that picture was pretty cool.  Even the women that were with us were checking it out.  Enough about the propaganda.

Lets talk about the journey to get there.  We took back roads from the restaurant that we work in.  I'm tired and grumpy like normal.  Trainers are literally falling asleep in the car as Alisha is driving us per the instruction of the GPS.  We didn't go to a restaurant, we went to a street.  We got there.  We had high hopes.  We had optimistic expectations.  We were all so positive.  We parked the car, put money in the meter.  The folks with us that don't normally go into these areas, so everyone but Josh and I, muscled through it.  We walked in and out of places and said no.  We wanted the right experience.  We walked by Taqueria Brenda Lee from a blog from last week and it was locked up tighter than Fort Knox.  We walked a few blocks, made some jokes, kept Bethany and Matt safe.  No one wanted to see those two delicate kids get hurt.

Amber, Nicole and I almost ate at Tacos Lupita the other day, but opted for Taqueria Brenda Lee instead.  Here's the thing, it didn't look like it would suck this much.  We were all tired, we were all starving.  We got in there and things just went down hill.

Josh started getting scared pretty early.  You can see by the look on his face.  The jute box would randomly kick on which was weird and was incredibly loud, but that is the kind of ambiance that I'm looking for.  The guy behind the counter was confused.  He was totally lost and he was a jerk.  I'm sorry, he is an asshole.  There should be no sugar coating or past tense when it comes to talking about this guy.  Alisha ordered a side of rice and beans three times and never got them, he couldn't figure it out.  We even explained it in Spanish, yeah, that was just as hard if not harder for him.  Fo's food was completely wrong.  He ordered pastor and got pollo.  Everyone had something wrong with their order except for Matt.  Yeah, I don't get it either.  It's not like we had complicated orders here, it was just tacos.

RATINGS:
LENGUA: 2, SUCKED
ASADA: 1, we are pretty sure that this was just cardboard with salt on it.
CARNITAS: 1, I don't know if they know what carnitas is.
PASTOR: 2, yucky
SALSA: 1, if you are going to make it this bad, please just buy something from the store and put it in a squeeze bottle, you have embarrassed yourself.

Here is what my food looked like:

We were all so sad that this was our last experience in New Jersey.  It was pretty heart breaking.  Bethany was so sad, we had to carry her to the car:

Josh is so nice.  Look at that winning smile.  What was the saving grace for our bellies?  Hot dogs.  The hotel had hot dogs and we all went back and we ate hot dogs.  So one last thing about this moron working at this place.  He could not give us a receipt.  Not a handwritten one, not a register one, he had like seven kinds of pointless retarded excuses.  He was so dumb.  I don't like him.  By the way, it was a HUGE rip off.  Way too much money.  I'm so sad for anyone that even has to walk near that place or drive by it.

Thanks for reading, please proceed near there with caution.  Thanks for the brave Tacoteers that risked themselves by going in there with me and enduring junk.  Thank you to everyone for reading, thanks for re-tweeting, re-posting.  Please don't forget to follow OrderoftheTaco on Instagram!  Live up to date pictures of tacos all over the US.  I'm at Newark Airport, so I may be done Tacoteering in New Jersey, then again, I may not be...

Today's gratuitous photo will depict how sad we all were with this taco experience and Bethany is here to show you:

Stay Excellent!

Paco's Tacos, Near LAX

Yeah, I know, you've seen this place too.  I've driven by a bunch of times never gone in.  We were going to go to old faithful El Tarasco but opted for something new.  Somewhere I have not written about.  So, I went here, to Paco's.  HUGE mistake.  This place, well, yeah, it sucks.  I don't know how they were as busy as they were, and they were not that busy.

Here's the good.  They make their own tortillas, that is cool and they are delicious.  I did not have a drink, but the bar looked pretty cool and the drinks looked good.  The company was nice.  My dad was with me and we got sometime to chat and enjoy some one on one time.

As for the rest of the story, well, lets just jump into the ratings:
CHIPS: 2, they were just not very good.  Tasted like they came out of an old bag from Vons.
SALSA: 3, not bad, what you would expect.  They just get a little seasoning happy.  I love a twist on flavors.  They add clove.  That is cool, but too much clove, not cool, too bad dude, you could have been a 4.
TORTILLA: 4, they were good.  They were not amazing.  Amazing is many other places I've been to, but they were above average.  I think that they handle the dough a little too much and it caused them to be a little less fluffy then they could have been, but they were still above average.
ASADA: 1, this might have been the worse asada I've ever tasted.  It was horrid.  Really, really, really horrid.  Tough, chewy, no flavor, nasty.
PASTOR: 2, eww.  Yeah, that is my description.  Way too much aciote, too much clove and too much seasoning in general.  Again overcooked.  Don't eat it.
HARD SHELL BEEF TACO: 3, this is one of the things that they are known for.  Well, I'm sad to taste that.  It was ok.  Typical three.  Not great, not bad, not much of anything that I'm thinking about ever again in my life.
CHILI RELLENO BURRITO: 2, if you don't know, I'm a huge relleno burrito fan.  I love them.  This thing was full of broth, celery and more celery.  The pepper was not cooked correctly and the inside was not good.  They screwed up a huge favorite of mine.  Come on people, you can do better, I would think.

So there is the burrito and the taco, yeah, you can see all of the celery.  Plenty of cheap cheese that they try to mask their flavorless food under.  NOT FOOLED.  Here is the skinny on the place, it is super pricey.  You are going to drop some bucks in this joint and the service is horrible.  It might be one of the places you can go for the worst service imaginable.  They were slow, unattentive and down right rude.  While taking our order, another waiter walked up to ours, handed him someone else's check and he didn't say anything to us, walked away, processed then came back to us and asked if we wanted anything else.  Yeah, not a fan.  I love the way that they couldn't refill chips or salsa without us flagging people down over and over.  NOT IMPRESSED.

The food is all over seasoned.  They love clove and cinnamon.  They are fans of aciote.  They just drench cheap product in seasoning and spices and think that the consumer will be fooled.  We did not go rogue here.  We ordered a hard shell taco (supposedly one of the things that put them on the map), Paco's Burrito (chili relleno) and Paco's Plate.  The beans are just ok, the rice is junk.  Yeah, junk.  It is just not very tasty.  Use broth, fake broth instead of tap water?  I don't know, but they need to figure this out.  This place has been around so long, maybe it's resting on its laurels.  I can assure you I will try to avoid even driving by.  I really was just disappointed all the way around.  This is Paco's Plate:

So this turned into a burn.  Me just burning away on some place.  I do apologize that these just happen.  It was just junk.  The plus side is that I got to spend a bit of time hanging with just my dad.  It was fun to be with him.  I'm sorry that I feel like we got ripped off, I'm sorry that we had to endure that horrible meal.  I'm glad that you folks too the time to read.  I'm glad that I got to take my Order of the Taco tattoo tacoteering. Here is the link to their website in case you are bored:
http://pacoscantina.com/
This is my dad, in case you didn't know him:

I appreciate everyone who read and took the time to hear about this experience.  Please tell your friends to follow, I'm going to start getting some Order of the Taco gear going soon.  Party on everyone and Stay Excellent.

Los Beto's...Meridian, Idaho

Yes, I was in Idaho.  Well, actually I am in Idaho.  What else am I going to do?  Yes, I went Tacoteering.  As every adventure, it was just that, an adventure.  I am with a great franchisee for the company I work for.  We were doing interviews, setting things up, Tacoteering.  All the normal stuff that you do, right?  It was interesting.  If I was stuck with only this taco place, I'd go back, but lets be clear, I'm in no rush.  Lets call a spade a spade, this place was light years better then Houston's places.  The food was decent, ambiance was good.  The folks there were really nice.  The menu was not surprising to me.  I've heard they have a few locations, the menu is what you are thinking and expecting from Boise, ID.

I know, a lot right?  So I just went and reread what I've written.  This place was not just light years better then Houston, it really put Houston to shame.  I want to formally apologize to all of Idaho for even putting the letters that spell Houston in the same Blog, you are way better then that.  Like I said the people working there were so cool.  Really nice folks.  They were efficient, friendly.  I will say, I was the only person not working there in the busy building that knew what lengua was.  They looked at me cross-eyed for a second when I ordered Buche and Lengua tacos.  Salsa bar was pretty cool.  Taqueria Style, I dig that.  Really neat little set up.  Taped up a sign that said hot to mild.  I thought that was awesome.  I did not try their "mild."  They looked good.

Portions were HUGE.  I was shocked.  Could not finish four tacos and I did not eat dinner, I was still full.  They were huge portions.  They were not messing around.  $2.25 a taco, you pay for it, but they were huge.  Wait, did I mention they were huge?  I hate it when people do that.  Yeah, lets burn on that for a second before the ratings...

WTF?  Why do people repeat themselves.  Let me tell you something, let me be crystal clear, I don't need you to repeat yourself to me over and over.  I am not responding because:
a:  I know you're an idiot
b:  I know what you're saying makes you more of an idiot
c:  I could give a damn what you are saying
d:  I'm ignoring you on purpose
e:  My response will make you cry which will only increase my distaste for being around you
f:  You suck
g:  I don't like you
h:  I don't want to encourage you to speak more

There are a few more reasons, but stop.  I'm not saying please, I'm saying.  It is ridiculous.  I'm not deaf.  I am ignoring you.  Then, you say the same words and stuff over and over.  Alright, over, for now.

RATINGS:
ASADA: 3, good stuff.  I mean it wasn't anything to call your friends about and invite them over, but you are not going to want to attack the chef.
PASTOR: 2, attack of the sauce.  Way too much.  The meat was drowning.  It was unnecessary.  The sauce was in abundance and not very good.  Aciote, too much, pepper, not enough, ancho chilies, hello!  Yeah too many anchos.
BUCHE: 3, good stuff.  This is no Tacos el Gordo in Chula Vista, but not bad.  I'd order this again.  When I'm back, I might come back for some Buche.
LENGUA: 3, solid.  Good stuff.  I like it.  It was tender, good.  Not as flavorful as it could have been, but good.
SALSA: 3
JALAPENO: 2, they were not good.  They were bad canned peppers.  Just not good.
ROJO: 2, yucky.  They don't know how to properly dehydrate peppers.
VERDE: 4, yum, yum give me some.  It was great.  Tomatillos were good.  Salsa was smoky, coriander, cilantro.
GUACAMOLE: 3, not amazing, but good stuff.  I liked it.

Large and in charge!  The guacamole was a surprise.  I didn't expect it on the tacos.  Pretty good stuff.  Nice presentation.  Here's the thing, this place is good.  Not amazing, but great for Boise.  Idaho, nice job.  I look forward to my next trip and more extensive Tacoteering.

Quick teaser, end of the month, the clan is back out, The Order of the Taco has a trip planned for San Diego.  Five taco places, one brewery and the group.  Excursion, here we come.  We are inviting a few others, you have been voted in.

Thanks to everyone for reading, appreciate your time.  Please tell your friends and Stay Excellent!