PASTOR CRISIS in Los Angeles

“Anybody can become angry — that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way — that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.”  -Aristotle

The good news, is I'm on point with the Great Aristotle on this one.  I am focused and we are going to get through this together, one taco at a time.

There is a crisis that is concerning to all of us here in not just the Los Angeles area, but the continental US and most of, if not all of the world.  I hate to be the barer of this bad news, but I cannot keep it a secret much longer.  We need to talk about Al Pastor.

This is like online dating gone wrong.  I was hitched prior to this really coming onto the scene, but I've seen and heard these horror stories.  You meet this great person online, you see their picture, you read their profile.  They are as hot as Matthew Perry, as charming as a 4 year old who wants to share his toys with you, as smart as Socrates, as cultured as Sir Sean Connery and as successful as Warren Buffett.  Then you meet him and he looks like Jabba, is a selfish prick that doesn't know how to open a door, is dumber then Lloyd Christmas, has the cooth of a backwoods redneck and hasn't had a job in 6 years.  I'm so tired of false advertisement.  Stop!  Call it what it is.  Change your menu from "pastor" and just put, this meat sucks and we over-seasoned it and are going to try to pass it off as pastor.

People keep asking me, what is pastor?  Seriously?  It is one of the best things that we've ever been given on this earth.  It should be made "gyro" style.  It is a solid marinade from for at least 24, if not 72 hours.  It has hints of pineapple, citrus, cumin, peppers, it has aciote, it does not SUCK!  It means, made in the style of the Shepard and was born in beautiful Central Mexico.  Traditionally pork.

Trucks, stands, restaurants have been making it horrible in the area lately, and I'm not going to put up with it much longer.  I am appalled that we are ok with mediocre pastor!  When did it become ok to ruin great things?  I see the efforts going on in NYC after Hurricane Sandy destroyed part of the Statue of Liberty and think that a pastor restoration project is in order.  I'm willing to put in the time, I'm willing to do the work, what I'm not willing to do, is settle.  I'm madder then a midget at a high urinal.

I will not walk up to or into an establishment with bad pastor and be nice.  If I look even more pissed then normal, I'm mad at, fed up with, sick of the nasty stuff that you are trying to pass off as Al Pastor.

I've provided the public with a definition, I've posted pictures of what this needs to look like below.  If you receive a 1 on a rating on your pastor, I will probably have to bash the heck out of your horrible, despicable establishment.  I will be making pastor soon.  I make a damn good pastor.  Prior to eating it with anyone, I made it for months.  Damn near a year until I got the recipe right.  Why?  Because, that is what you do.  You don't insult your friends, family or guests with garbage.  I would not do that, I know that you would not tolerate friends, don't tolerate it, don't sink, keep your standards where they should be for pastor.

I urge everyone to follow in this.  Please, let your places know how horrible their pastor is.  Tell them they suck and you are not coming back until they fix it.  This art form is more valuable then the Mona Lisa.  I can assure you that this will make the world a better place, one taco at a time.  Stay Excellent Everyone.